My Shitty Dog

Todd took Griffen and Nemo to work today, as he often does. They’d rather hang in his office, or in the back of the truck all day long than stay at home. Todd likes having them in the office as a fun stress reliever. It’s a win-win situation.

Tonight I met up with Todd at our friends’ yacht rigging shop. The owners of the shop, Maggie and Charlie, have become good friends of ours. We agreed to meet up at their house for a drink. Todd had the dogs in the back of the truck, which is fine because Maggie and Charlie are dog people; they love Griffen and Nemo.

We sat on Maggie and Charlie’s deck (or Chaggie and Marlie, as I call them if I’ve been drinking) and had a drink and some cheese and crackers. Griffen and Nemo romped around in the back yard until Griffen stopped and squatted in the middle of the yard. Of course, he dropped a bomb of epic proportions. I offered to shovel it into the woods and Charlie told me not to bother.

Big mistake.

Nemo rolled in the ground near the bomb. I figured that there was no way he was actually rolling in the pile of poo. (And what, based on my experience with Nemo would make me think that?  I don't know.)  Then we turned around just in time to see him eat the pile of poo. Todd grabbed a shovel and flung the remainder into the woods, then joined the rest of us on the deck.

Nemo joined us too. And so did the poo ground into his ears and smeared around his neck. Todd quickly put the dogs into the back of the truck and returned to the deck. Minutes later Nemo turned up on the deck again. We puzzled over how he got out of the truck, while Maggie and I lured him back to the truck again. I put him in the back and saw that the window that leads into the cab was open. I got behind the wheel and went to put the key into the ignition so I could close the window.

By the time I got behind the wheel, Nemo had already jumped through the window into the cab. I reached back and pinned him against the top of the seat. I tried to coax (read shove) him back through the window into the bed of the truck. No dice. I called out to Todd, not realizing that Maggie was still standing there. I could barely reach Nemo from the front seat, and would not be able to put the key into the ignition to close the window.

She may have laughed, I am not sure. But she opened the door to the back seat and helped me shove my poo smeared dog into the back of the truck. (A testament of true friendship!) We closed the window, crisis averted.

Just as we were leaving Maggie and Charlie’s house, an hour or so later, Charlie called out “And get your shitty dog out of here!”

Burnin' Rubber

Nemo's got this whole exercise thing worked out. 

Two Sphinxes

The Husband in Vegas update stands at: up by $2,000 from the three card poker tables, 1 proposition from a prostitute, and two Cirque du Soleil shows. Never mind the fact that I’ve always wanted to see Cirque. He went without me. But then I went without him to a movie on Friday that he’d wanted to see. But it’s not the same. Cirque du Soleil, twice, versus Tropic Thunder? It hardly compares. The only reasons why I didn’t go with him were that I still don’t have the vacation time at work piled up, and it’s the busy season now, and we’re prohibited from taking more than two days off in a row. No, I am not jealous. Nor am I bitter. Nope. Not at all.

The busy season’s been interesting, to say the least. Today I came back from lunch at 1:20, then the next thing I knew it was 3:40. I had a meeting at 4 and I hadn’t yet prepared for it. Where did the time between 1:20 and 3:40 go? I have no idea. And this isn't the first day this has happened, and I imagine it won't be the last.

My dogs have taken it upon themselves to be the men of the house in Todd’s absence. Sure they doze when I am just chilling out and watching TV. But the moment we go upstairs to sleep, they take their position on the foot of the bed. They sit like a pair of sphinxes, facing the door of the bedroom.

Sometimes Griffen will drop down to the floor and stand at the top of the stairs, staring down with his head cocked to the side as if to say “What was that? Wait. There it is. Did you hear that?”

Then Nemo will pop down from the bed, and stare with his brother, his hackles slightly raised, as if to say, "Yeah, I heard it too. Do you think they have steak?"

"No, they don't have steak, you moron. But wait, if it's Todd he might. It could be Todd," Griffen cocks his head to the other side.

"Do you think we should check it out?" Nemo half barks.

“Guys, there’s nothing there, come on to bed,” I’ll say. They hesitate at the top of the stairs for a moment longer before turning back to the bedroom. The tiptoe into the room, easily jump back onto the bed again, and assume the position of two sphinxes standing guard as I read, waiting for intruders bearing steak.

And then one of them will get distracted from the vigil and try to hump my shins.